Disappear

One simple word.
Easy for a lot of people to do.
So why can't you do it?

You've been out of my life, at least in the way i wanted you to be in it, for a little while now. However you just refuse to get out of my life. No matter what you always have to say something for me. You always have to try and be nice. I told you i wanted to forget anything had ever happened between me and you, and you didnt want that. Yoi said you'd never forget what happened between us, you just wanted to have your fun. Well if you ask me 1) i am having a lot more fun than you...and you see that EVERYTIME we are out in the same place and 2) you had to downgrade yourself and that is just pathetic.


Just please tell me one thing.
Are you having your fun? I mean you seem to be "with" this girl...but when she isn't at the same bar as you...there you are galavanting with some other girl. You NEVER did that with me...so i guess that's your fun, but why pretend to that girl that she means something for you. I may not like said girl but i mean come on i wish she could see you when she's not around.

but thats not what i wanted you to tell me...
Why is it that everytime me and you are intoxicated we can't help but fight.
I thought the fighting was over, and yet the other night we were at it again.
Tell me why when you saw me completly shitty, you had to go out of your way to ask my roomate several times if i was ok?
Like you care.
Please spare me.
How does it make you feel that she was hookin up with some other guy the other night and you caught her?

How does it make you feel that no matter how hard you try, i hate you.
Well not hate, but i dont want you part of my life.
I told you the other night i wanted to rip your head off, and the next day you laughed about it. I was serious. I wish i could just punch you square in the face.


I dont even know why i feel all this tension between us. But seriously why do we always have ti fight drunk, why is that what it always comes down to.
Why do you ALWAYS stare me down, i see you and i walk past you not even looking, why cant you do the same thing? If it was so easy for you to want to stop being together, why can't it be easy for you to pretend like we were never anything....and you say i was the one who got attatched?

I think you've proven to anyone that for once in my life it was the other way around.
Everyone says that the fighting we do, and the fact that you keep trying to talk to me when you see me around means that you have to care a little bit, that something is still there. But idk.

I want to belive it more than anything...but i can't. If it were true youd be with me and not that girl...if your even with her.
I think you are the most confuse person i have ever had to deal with.

It is just so stressful everytime you do something. You are the one boy that sort of stuck aroundm and the only boy who continues to try talking top me after everything went sour.

Boys just don't make sense. I hope it kills you that i am happy. I hope you cringe everytime you see me talking to a new boy...which you def are cause anytime i kiss a boy and you are around...you watch...you see it...you always seem to be there.

Makes no sense. You make no sense. Boy...make up your fucking mind.