Martinis and Mixed Feelings

I don't know how to go about this anymore.
I won't give up.
Why?
I really couldn't explain it in a way you guys would understand.
Trust me i know when things are over.
Even tho normally i hope for the best and still hang on.
This isnt one of those situations tho.

Yet again i went out and bumped into him. and yet again he apologized. He noticed me first in the VIP lounge. Guess that is something to notice when everyone is downstairs and I am one of the few people that are upstairs, getting past the big bouncer guy. No green wristband. No entry.

So i made my way down to the bar, got a beer. You decided to talk to me and it went well. And i walked away kudos to me. i dont even feel like typing the whole story like i normally do.

You wanna know what i do find weird however. The fact that your best friend whom i have really never talked to even when me and you were together is texting me? i mean i know hes a nice guy like ive always known it. but its weird. He's engaged. so i know hes not hitting on me. Which i like cause that would have made my life suck more if it was the other way haha. But why out of no where? My friends think its strange to. But i know for a fact his friends wanted to see him with me. And i know that he doesnt seem to be as happy as he use to be. Speculations can be made that they might wanna repair things?

who knows. I like having him talk to me though. It's all for the better if i want to fix things. I realize i have to talk to you soberly. However i am still scared.


Who knows how the hell this is gonna play out

cause really not one person can tell me
and right now

i dont even think he could tell me.