L word

I use to hate the L word.
I honestly did.
Then i went to college.
It changed my mind, but only slightly.
Now i read the books.
and....now i really want it.

However i realize it is something that you can't just go out and look for. It has to find you. And well...that SUCKS. Its strange because I've never been this girl. Ive always been the girl that said EW love...how dumb...how cliche...and now oh how the tables turned. I just want it for once..i've had boys but i cant say that i was ever in Love...'ve only told one boy i loved him..and seeing as i dont know what love is i cant say whether or not i was speakin the truth. In a sense i was the happiest person ever and this boy made me feel everything a boy should..and no not in a sexual way..inother ways..but to say Love..idk. Ok away from that perticular topic.

i might just be feeling this way because - as pathetic as this is to admit and say - reading those books..i was dazzled by it...i was enchanted by it... but its not all the "magic" that drew me to it quite the contrary it was the underlying story...it was the love... He's the perfect guy which lets face it a guy like that doesnt exist. Its proven, by every girl. Being put in a world with that in existance just took me over and made me want it...the lust...the love...how she fit so perfectly into his family and got two great families...how it all comes together in the end...and NOTHING could tare them apart...no other temptations...family memebers that didnt agree...family memebers that did i dont know but thats what i want. A boy who doesnt care about other girls..tell me..what boy could sit out be served by a pretty girl, and not pay any attention...to her...just focus soley on you. DOESNT HAPPEN. END OF STORY.


BLAHH