Happy?

You know everyone in life seems to only focus on the negative things. I say this as a realization that every time i am down in the dumps, its because im focused on one main thing. So many things happen around me that are happy at the same exact moment i am sad, and yet no matter how happy a thing can be that one negative thing just takes over my mind. I see this in more than just myself, i see it in friends and family alike. What is it about human emotions that only allow us to see the negative things.

Think about it. When your happy a multitude if happiness can come your way. And you are foucsed on more than one happy thing. However the moment a negative thing affects you it consumes your thoughts, emotions, and attitude. One of the niggest human flaws i can see, among the many. All i need to do is just realize that the negative things in my life happen for a reason and although at the time it really does suck in the long run it was the best for me. So to my "negative" right now...i say fuck you, your a waste of time and just bringing down my positivity.

After saying this i realize i am truely happy. My family - i wouldnt trade it for the world, ive never wanted a sister or more sibilings than i have, if u ask me i have a sister although it is y marriage not blood she is the biggest sweetheart i kniow and i love her as if she was blood, My brothers would do anything for me and bless their hearts work harder than anyone i know. My parents, people could only wish to have the parents i have, they treasure me and i know they would give me the world.

My friends, let me just tell you unless you are them who are reading this (which u prob are seeing as u three are the only ones that read this) you could only wish for them. We have our ups and downs but ultimatly they are there for me for no matter what and im there for them as well. =)


As for the love department...whatever it can come find me. I don't need that to be truely happy. I am happy without it and its takin me til now to believe it. I know i am extremly happy when i am with one boy but i relaize i have had happy times MANY happy times i dont need it.

Don't get me wrong i want a relationship now more then ever, like i've never wanted one before i liked not being tied down, but after that one boy i dont know it changed. Being "married" opened my eyes. I know how lame it is and everyone says it was dumb to be married but idk ik ive never been so happy. Idk what to do anymore i feel as if when you look for it doesn't come, and when your not looking for it, BAM it c0mes

well thats all for now.
Night<3