Searching, Searching, Searching...

"I understand that i have friends on this lonely path, that sometimes your place is not something you find, but something you have when you need it."

"We are often searching, searching, searching for that "thing" that will make everything better. Searching for happiness and a sense of belonging. We're constantly trying to make a connection. And sometimes, the connection is already there. It's just a matter of out recognizing it and trusting it."

In my recent days, i find a lot unraveling. I use to think i lived in a perfect world. Everything seemed so happy, even the sad things that happened to me i knew were a part of life. That was me being young and wanting happiness to be everywhere. To this day i do remain optimistic as i have been in the past.. however; i know that in life will have many a challenge to face. Not only my own but challenges that i need to help others over come.

Little girl i use to be, perfect does not exist.
There is no perfect world.
There is no perfect guy.
There is no prefect romance.
There is no perfect family.
There are no perfect people.

Perfect is a mere illusion it does not exist. but do not take my rant as a negative, depressing connotation. No. Rather read what i say carefully and read between the lines. There is no perfection, but isn't that what gives life it's excitement. If things went exactly as planned, now what fun would life be. Things would be predictable, what fun is an adventure if you can predict the outcome. What fun would life be if i knew exactly how things were to happen? A perfect worl would me drol and boring, we need balance of good and bad, light and dark, if we don't then the world would be to much like a 1950's show. A perfect boy frankly would piss me off, an occasional fight is thrilling, to fight for one another is a magnificent thing, to be at my every call and by my side instead of with friends occasionally would anger me. A perfect romance sounds very appealing but really what girl could stand prince charming every single day, it is like being around that person who is happy when you are upset. What is a family if it isn't quirky, who wants that stay at home mom cooking 24/7, the quarter back star athlete brother with the perfect grades and who can do no wrong, the pet who is everything but disobident, a goofy family is the way to be. Petfect people, annoying.


Yes we are all looking for the thing that will make us happy, sometimes we are to consumed with trying to reach this thing that we miss the good things that we do have in our lives. Our thoughts become consumed with what we lack, i want to be this way, i want this, if only i had, i wish. We are all guilty of these attitudes in some form, most of guily of multiple ones through out the day. There is nothing wrong with this at all, but it is not something to dwell on.

Recently i see myself and my three best friends having these sayings in our thoughts and in what we say out loud. Some do not even have to say or show signs of it, i know they are there resilent. I admit i think these things alot. However i say it is time to not look at the glass half empty but half full.

I have lived a bless life so far and am more than greatful. Yes i do screw up, for i am only human, i bruise, i cry, i feel. However, being in a somber mad after getting in yet another accident, although not major it still the knowing i have brought dissappointment to my father who does not diserve to feel that way, i know realize that that is life. I am not perfect. God made no one perfect. Perfect does not exist.

What does exist is being grateful for what i have, I have friends who i know would be there for me no matter what, a family that has my back and will never turn theirs on me, a school and people in it that i wouldnt give up for the world and the list continues. Why dwell on what i lack when i have a boutiful of great things.

We are all on differnt paths, and at times these paths seem lonley. But i make it feel that way. When i have such great friends and family loneliness does not exist unless i make it that way. The saying it is riht under your nose is very aplicapable at this moment, for i think that i am in a bad place, one thing goes wrong and i am able to shatter my world, but when i think about what is "right under my nose" it is happiness that i am choosing not to accept. Good things will happen in life along with the bad, what is important is that we face the bad times and put them in the past, to dwell on the only spells disatster, to move on to the good spells happiness. I realize that it is hard to look for good in a bad situation but when taking the time to think about the good that you have at the very moment you have the bad, i gaurentee you if you look in the right places the good will always outweigh the bad. It is just a matter of where you see the good and a matter of knowing that things you take for granted on a daily basis could be the hint of good that you need in life.


Til we meet again.