Crush Crush

IDK what to say anymore.
It's so complicated.
Last night i really felt as though we have something.
Usually this feeling wont last cause i get jealous so easily.

I know he is a good guy, and that i should trust him. I know this. It's just hard with my past to trust the male gender. You see all my girls and the girls around me have been hurt by guys. All guys out there seem to be the same, why, because you all do the same thing. Why is it so difficult to find a good guy. I believe I did find one. But hes shy in a way. I mean don't get me wrong we do hook up, but he doesn't push for sex. Not complaining, it's just strange cause...well most guys do. So that makes me think your not interested. For a bit I thought you were using me. I confronted you, and you told me you weren't and to relax. Made me feel a bit better. I just wish you weren't so hard to read. I mean I had a break through the other night and discovered you track record is just as shitty as mine. If it seems I'm obsessed the way this is sounding, I'm not. I am just confused. You make me so bipolar if a good things happens between us then I'm the happiest girl. If something bad happens, I'm in a bad mood. Most of the bad things come from me assuming shit. Really i have to stop that. It's just so hard.

I HATE settling down. Really boyfriends were never my thing. Recently I find myself wanting one. Is it because of you? I mean we did click right away, but what the heck, could have changed my mind so damn fast. I don't even know if your in the works for a girlfriend, but if you are..Hello idiot I'm right here. Your a confusing boy, but in turn I wonder if I myself am confusing. I mean I am a Flirt, and it has happened before where I liked a boy, but the stupid idiot really didn't know. I just figure it is obvious. But apparently not.


I find it hard to share my feelings with boys. Its not an easy task. Partly cause you don't know how they are going to interpret it.


I'm at a loss i don't know what to do. All I can hope for is that how great things were last night, just last and eventually progress. I must learn to be patient, something I am so far from.
I see things being good, and I have a good feeling.


Only Time Will Tell...